We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
