i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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