like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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