Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
How external is "for external use only"?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
