Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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