How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
