you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
