R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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