I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
