I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
