I'm drive I can fine osifer
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
