Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
