I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
