This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
