"it" just moved
I bet he comes in French.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize