hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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