We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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