R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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