Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
