On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
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