i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
