What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
