He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
