I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Be still, my beating vagina.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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