tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
