Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
