I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
