I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
