Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
operation harelip BJ is a go
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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