I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
