I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
In other news, I just burned my penis
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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