I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
