pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
