I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
