So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
