at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So many bounce houses so little time
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
