question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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