you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
