You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
