I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
