Slut skills are useful in every country.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
