Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
