Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
not ubering you a puppy
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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