Why are handjobs necessary in class?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
