and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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