it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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