I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
