Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
