Plan B is the new Plan A
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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