my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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