guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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