Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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