if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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