so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
