i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
