I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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