he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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