dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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