i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
this hospital has no fireball
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
