woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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