have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
