Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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