No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I need mimosas to revive my soul
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
