And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
