we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
