it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
