He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm passing your future prison.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
